Legacy

My boss recently asked our volunteer group to write a small reflection on our experience to include in the closing report of our program: Rural Community Development. I procrastinated a long time writing this piece largely because of the sometimes painful reflection it forces. I finally got the courage and wrote this:

In closing my service in Fila Pinar, several  defining or clarifying moments appear. When I first arrived in town and I began the integration process, I realized that no matter how hard I tried I would always be the gringo, slightly separated from everyone else. Talking to my parents one night, my mom encouraged me to continue and said “You will never be a tico but you can be a respected American.” Throughout my service I have learned that there are advantages and disadvantages to being an outsider but the best I can do is be a respected outsider. One of those advantages is talk about or force reflection about taboo topics such as sexuality. My biggest project achievement was conducting a safe sex and healthy relationships workshop and leadership camp for high schoolers where we briefly removed the veil hiding sexuality and allowed young people to explore and learn about a fundamental component to their humanity. And only an outsider could have conducted a project about sex. In addition to pushing certain topics into the public discourse, Peace Corps Volunteers play an important role of showing community members that the world does not end at the limit of their community. While technology and globalized culture are already allowing people to glimpse international pop-culture, Peace Corps volunteers allow community members to use, enjoy, and grow from technology and globalization instead of feeling isolated and out of touch. I knew I achieved my goal of opening the world to my closest youth friend Asdrubal when he asked me for every Jay-Z song I had, asked me how the Brooklyn Nets were doing, and celebrated scoring goals during the mejenga by singing Brazilian pop songs I taught him. In my service and in every Peace Corps Volunteer’s service, the goal is bringing a small piece of the world to isolated communities, and taking a small piece of the isolated community to the world. 

Photos I have been unfairly witholding

Kayaking with Darien in the Osa Peninsula at Drake Bay

White faced monkey at Corcovado National Park 

the Pacific ocean at Drake Bay

Macaw at Corcovado National Park

Artsy phot at the Apoyo Lake in Nicaragua, outside Granada

The twin volcanoes in the Ometepe Islands in the Nicaragua Lake. The one of the left is the Conception Volcano which we climbed almost to the top!

the climb started to get tough, cold, and foggy!

view from above!

the clouds parting to show us what was below

the lake next to Arenal Volcano, Costa Rica

Don't Change

Emerging from the obscurity of almost six months of no posting, I finally feel like I have something worth your time. I recently wrote a short piece to submit for the volunteer's online magazine. A little bit of background, there is a volunteer publication called "La Cadena" which in Spanish means "the chain". The most recent edition had the theme of "change" and I submitted the piece I am about to share with you all as a corollary. The intended audience is fellow volunteers but it should nonetheless be of interest to non-volunteers. One final clarification is "RPCV" is an acronym for returned Peace Corps Volunteer. That is what I will be in 3 months!! Enjoy and respond with comments and reflections!

Don’t Change

Inspired by the last La Cadena issue’s topic of change, I have one message for you: don’t change. Or more appropriately, don’t change back. As my service will shortly draw to a close, I have started thinking about who I will be and who I will not be as an RPCV. In keeping my Peace Corps experience close to my heart, I will not be an RPCV who turns his back on the world reverting back to the path of most comfort. I will not pat myself on the back for a good deed done thinking my quota of goodwill has been filled. To the contrary, I will embrace collectivism and stewardship and will subject myself to challenges to continue growing.  

When I visited the United States during Thanksgiving 2012, who I wanted to be after Peace Corps started to become clear. I remember waking up from a nap on the airplane to see organized city blocks and huge shopping malls from thousands of feet in the air and knowing that I was no longer above Central America. Waiting for my connection to DC in Miami, I quickly learned that, in my absence, Apple had become king as the five people sitting around me were all on their iPhones. One gentleman switched out his iPhone to read an article on his iPad, which shortly thereafter he replaced with his MacBook (I was waiting for him to take out his iBigScreenTV next).  

Despite the immediate sensation of “face planting” back into America, I had a wonderful visit, seeing friends, eating Asian food, and reconnecting with my family. But being “home” reminded me of those cliché moments where the more mature, grown-up son or daughter sees the flaws and imperfections of his or her parents as they develop an adult relationship. I saw the flaws of the United States with clear eyes and at the same time saw the person I wanted to be moving forward. What I saw was a comfortable country where such comfort discourages community, destroys the environment, and stunts growth. The person I see in the future rejects hyper-comfort and its side effects.

Prior to joining the Peace Corps, I had a comfortable American existence. I worked in a nice office, making decent money. I ate delicious food, went to cool happy hours, and took advantage of Living Social. I even thought I was living consciously; I recycled, brought my own coffee mug to Starbucks, and purchased a small solar powered cell phone charger.  Meanwhile I had no less than ten electrical appliances sucking energy all day. I purchased new clothes when my older clothes were just fine. I thought my desk job for an NGO was enough social justice for one day and didn’t get involved in the DC community. When I thought I had attained happiness I had actually just attained a comfortable stagnant life that needed a heavy dose of the world to shock myself out of a wine and cheese induced coma.

Thanks to my Peace Corps experience, I have grown and changed. I have experienced the beauty, fulfillment, and frustration of integrating into a community and being a part of it. I have seen, smelled, tasted, and regretted the effects of human consumption on the planet. I have seen how much I can grow and achieve if I accept challenges. I have been pleasantly surprised when I let life plan itself and accept the direction it takes me in. I have worked hard to improve a world that is everyone’s fault and I have found solace in my failures when I realize that the world is simultaneously no one’s fault. To make sure I grow into the person I know I can be, I have offered myself a challenge: don’t change back. If you are like me and have grown through your service and seen that you can be better, I offer you the same. 

Sexual Health Leadership Camp

My life has recently calmed down, largely in part because Darien and I had our Sexual Health Leadership Camp, which started last Friday and ended last Sunday. We took 25 high schoolers (7-11 graders), one parent, and three high school teachers (including the guidance counsellor . The students who went had to apply to attend the camp although by the deadline we established only 13 had applied. So we needed to ask students if they wanted to go and then they applied. The content of the camp was largely determined by the guidance counsellor who chose topics that the participants said they were interested in when they filled out evaluations of the workshops that were the first step of the project. The topics of interest were healthy relationships, sexually transmitted infections, and contraceptives. Darien and I recommended that a workshop that we received regarding non-violent communication also be a part of the camp. A Peace Corps staff member graciously rearranged her entire month’s schedule to make it all the way down to our camp.

On the morning before we left for the camp we had to deal with last minute drop-outs, making sure we had everything we needed, and calling parents at the last minute to get their consent. But by 11:30am, we had 25 students with parental permission, the bus was ready, and we were all packed up. Over the next two and a half days, I observed and reflected on some interest points: here are some of them:

1.       High schoolers will be high schoolers: Being with people from the ages of 14-18 who have never attended a camp or really ever left their communities without parents and with friends, is tiring and requires a lot of patience! Sometimes I had to step back and take a deep breath when I heard a 14 year old girl scream or when the boys cabin was up until midnight telling jokes and up at 5 am to go swimming (although the pool opened at 6). On the evaluations the participants filled out at the end of the camp, the item that received the most scrutiny was the agenda because there wasn’t enough pool time. But really, if all we did was swim, would that have even been enough pool time?

2.       Religious beliefs are tremendously strong: While this may seem obvious, it still strikes me when I hear some things despite having been in community for over a year. When we were talking about societal myths about love, we discussed how as people we are complete and don’t need to be completed by anyone. We talked about how it is important to love yourself and be your own best friend. One student interrupted us and said “God is your first best friend and you are your second best friend”. While nothing wrong with that comment, it was just revelatory.

a.       The second and more frightening story on this point came when we were discussing condoms. One female student said that condoms prevent the formation of a new life and therefore kill. She said that the Church recommended another form of contraception where women have to analyze the elasticity of vaginal mucus to determine whether or not they are ovulating. With this method, people can have sex with no condom and if practiced correctly the likelihood of fertilizing the egg is very low. I was blown away as to how insane this is. Instead of using condoms, which prevent the spread of STIs and the other method does not; women need to take some class, given by the church of course, to learn about how to identify different states of vaginal mucus. Here is a good example of things taking time to become socially accepted and how that affects health.

3.       When student leaders are treated like adults they act like adults: We did not have, to my knowledge, one incident in the camp. No one snuck out, no one did drugs, no one had relations, no one peeped on the girls or the boys, nothing! On top of good behavior, the students took the topics seriously and adopted appropriate language. We had a camp fire the last night where we had a flash card activity where each person’s card had a question and a different answer. So it was away to involve everyone and answer intimate questions. The flash cards also broke the ice so students could ask questions about urban myths they heard. The conversation was the most candid and mature I have ever heard about sex in a group setting. Students were saying “erection”, “breasts” and “vaginal sex” as if they were talking about the weather or traffic.

Now that the camp is over, we are thinking of ways to continue with workshops and activities to make this topic fundamental in the high school. But I am very proud of the work we did and regard this as my biggest success thus far in my service.

Pura vida

Aaron

Sexual Health Workshops

Last Tuesday, Darien and I began our series of sexual health workshops with the local high school students. This project has been over a year in the making and has been a primary project interest and what I would consider a necessity for my community. We have been working with the guidance counselor to determine the content of each workshop, create the materials, organize the logistics, and now finally execute. Our goal was to have a workshop for each grade (7-11) and have nearly full attendance.

The workshops have a really important and infrequently heard message for these communities. The central message is that people need to make decisions in their sex lives that are in agreement with their goals and values. If students want to go to college then they should make smart decisions so that they aren’t impeded by teenage pregnancies or sexually transmitted diseases. If students value their virginity until marriage, then they should make decisions to protect it. This type of message is very empowering and conveys to the students that they are the ones in control of their lives and therefore need to make responsible decisions based on what they want in life.

So far we have given three of the four workshops with a range of attendance, from great to mediocre depending on the grade. I wanted to reflect with you some of the successes, failures, and interesting observations thus far.

Successes:

·         With the exception of one angry letter, we have not met much resistance on the part of ultra-conservative parents. The evangelical pastor from my town allowed his son to attend the workshop. Many other students from a range of backgrounds have been allowed to attend the workshop. Parental resistance was one issue we were worried about in planning the workshops but we have not yet faced much resistance.

·         One 8^th grade boy corrected himself when he was talking about gay people so that instead of using a slur, he just said “gay man”. One of the parts of our workshop is called “Popular Language” where students write all the slang words for different terms like “penis”, “breasts”, “lesbian woman”, etc. Then we read aloud all the written slang words for each term and comment on how ridiculous the slang terms are. The idea is to let the students know that the parts of the body and other terminology related to sex are natural and there is no need to call a “vagina” an “empanada.”

·         Students began to realize the stereotypes that are commonly accepted in pop-culture that distort people’s sexuality and discriminate. Students recognized that men aren’t just horny cheating machines and that women are strong and capable of working and being the head of a household.

·         For the first time, students were exposed to the idea of homosexuality as something normal. Not something that is bad or particularly good, not ugly, not perverted, but something that is natural.

Failures:

·         The 7^th grade and 9^th grade workshops were not very well attended. We achieved around 65% or 70% attendance.

·         Some students caused small damages to the salon where the workshop is taking place. The salon is in my community and I have now been tasked with fixing the faucet that a high school student broke off the sink.

·         Thus far, only one student leader has helped us present during the workshops. Several months back, Darien and I went to a similar workshop in San Jose about sexual health where we took the guidance counselor and three students. The idea was to recreate the workshop in San Jose in our communities using the three student leaders to help. But only one student has helped during only one workshop.

Interesting Observations:

·         During the 8^th grade workshop, one session was about the components of a healthy relationship, such as communication, shared expectations, and personal space. The students had to present a skit about the component they were given. In each skit that was presented, a same-sex couple was the center of the skit. While the skits were laced with some unflattering stereotypes, same-sex couples were still presented as a part of normal society.

·         During the 9^th grade workshop, one session was about the rights individuals have regarding their sexuality such as the right to choose your partners, to use contraceptives, and the right to decide when to have children. In the salon there is an office in the back separated by a door. When students were presenting their corresponding sexual right through a skit, every skit used the back room to represent a private sexual encounter where students would go to the back room and bang on the door. This represented how present and curious those 9^th graders are about sex.

·         In the activity where we asked students why they were happy to be the sex they were, the boys had a tough time writing why they were happy to be males. The most frequent answers were because men are strong and can pee anywhere they please. We then asked why they would be happy if they were the opposite sex. The girls when answering that question said that they would be happy to be a man because they would be faithful to their spouse and only love one woman. While they didn’t really answer the question, I thought the combination of the boys’ inability to put anything meaningful and the girls’ answer showed a lack of male role-models and positive cultural male images. However this makes sense when these kids come from communities where at least 1/3 of the families are disintegrated.

While there have been some ups and downs, I am happy to be doing this project. Another thing I learned through this project is that being a Peace Corps Volunteer is really a thankless job. At the end of each workshop, a handful of students maximum thank us. The student who broke the sink did not confess which now means I am the responsible one for fixing it. No parent has thus far thanked us for doing something that they should be doing at home. But knowing that maybe 50 students out of 250 (or so) total high schoolers will make safer and smarter decision regarding their sex lives and therefore have a better life, is thanks enough.

Pura Vida,

Aaron

I'm pumped up to talk about SEX!!!

A neat cut out of the name of the workshop we made out of a lingerie magazine to give it a sexy twist. 

One of the many same-sex couples depicted in the skits about healthy relationships.

Darien and our student leader Alexander talking conducting our "Popular Language" session.

The Bad and the Good

Recently, I had an interesting bi-polar day which I feel accurately depicts a day in the life. One is bad and one is good.

The bad story begins with my second community English course. I was looking for more students to replace the ones who dropped out of my first course. A high school student in the first course recruited her mom who I had a good relationship with. The blog post I wrote 8 or so months ago, about cooking dinner on a Sunday evening and feeling like I wasn’t out of place, was about this family. The parents, the teenage daughter, and the kindergarten age son all were friends of mine. So I was excited the mom was going to give English a try.

The mom, the teenage daughter, and the rest of the class progressed through the course, learned some English, and had a good time. My relationship with this family improved; I went over again to cook pancakes, the teenager joined my environmental committee and was excited to participate in activities. I played pick up soccer games with the dad and joked around with the little son. When my third English class came along, I thought they would continue to study. I continued to visit their house and ask about the course and I kept getting the indirect unsure Costa Rican response which normally means no. The teenage daughter over time stopped attended the environmental activities and stopped responding to text messages and invitations. While they would still greet me in the street and be friendly, something had changed.

 Instead of inviting me over to cook and joking around with me, the last interaction I had with the family was when they tried to sell me clothing, soap, and cologne.

I had no idea what was going on until another student of mine visited my house to pick up homeworks she missed. We were debating whether or not to close the community course and just offer smaller private lessons and finally I heard the gossip about why they didn’t go to my English course anymore. Jealousy. The husband didn’t let his wife go to my English course anymore because he was jealous. While this is just gossip, I can’t think of any other reason as to why two committed students and good friends of mine would suddenly freeze me out of their lives.

Letting this soak in, I couldn’t help but feel sad. This woman and her daughter are being deprived a nearly free educational opportunity because of the insecurity of the father. The father, a person I have cooked for, joked around with, played soccer with, would rather have his dinner served to him by his wife every night than allow her to slip out once a week to learn a foreign language. And even worse, the wife feels as though she needs permission to do something she enjoys.

What makes this story even more interesting is that I later found out that the jealous father is said to have had an affair on his wife several years ago. Maybe that is why he is insecure…

But now for the good!

Several days ago, Darien and I had planned to hang out in my community. We were both going to finish up some activities in town and she was going to take the bus to the top of my community where I would meet her. We would then walk down to my house and enjoy the afternoon together. I got a ride up to the bus stop and was waiting at the convenience store by the bus stop, waiting to see Darien (I still get butterflies…). A storm blew in and rain began to fall and thunder to crack. The bus passed and no blonde gringa got off the bus. I was puzzled, sent Darien a text message, and suddenly received a phone call from her. She was super upset and said that the bus didn’t pass where it normally passes. She had been waiting for 40 minutes in the rain to catch the bus.

The owner of the convenience store who I had been chatting with looked at me and said, “are you sad?”I confessed that I was. He thought for a second and said, “if you help with the gas, I’ll drive you over there to get her.” I called Darien back and told her to relax that I had gotten a ride to come pick her up. We drove the windy, wet, curvy road to Darien’s community and picked her up. Then he was so generous to drive us all the way to my house which is a kilometer or more away from his store. What a nice guy.

What I like about these two stories is that it shows the jerky ups and downs in Peace Corps life (or maybe in life in general). The day my friend drove me to pick up Darien was the same day I found out about the jealous dad. Some days are good here in Costa Rica and some days are bad. And some days and both good and bad. The universality of good days and bad days still applies to sunny Costa Rica.

Pura Vida

Aaron 

and now for some photos!

A view of southern Costa Rican rolling hills. 

My youth soccer team at their first official game. They got their butts kicked but they learned a lot. Here they are with a handicapped athlete how gave a motivational talk at the end of the games. 

Darien and I at Playa Hermosa where I met one of Darien's friends

Pictures from visit to Limon

Darien and I recently visited some good friends of ours in the Caribbean costal province of Limon. They are a married Peace Corps couple and fabulous people! Limon is an interesting province because it is more diverse than the rest of Costa Rica. Limon was where they built the first train line in Costa Rica and many Jamaican workers came to work. So Limon has strong afro-Caribbean roots! It has a delicious tradition plate called "Rice and Bean" which is exactly just that, rice and beans cooked in a spicy coconut milk! See the third picture for an example. Limon also has beautiful beaches and a great vide! Enjoy!